“I knew feminism’s number was up when young wimmin started uploading vidoes of themselves getting bummed off of their boyfriends on to online smut websites,” purrs bra-burning tub-thumper, Camille Paglia (see poor-quality Photoshopped image above). “Having a rotten attitude, floppy New Age knockers, frizzy hair, a hatred of men and a tendency to live in a field full of angry, menstruating ratbags in the ’70s can’t compete with that, so I’ve thrown in my lot with today’s modern woman and started wearing the fantastic new range of Nigella In Beans Erotic Nights© lingerie for money. As you can see, it’s two cans of opened some beans covering my flabbers, plus a strangely-angled tin of Heinz’s finest hiding my fanular area.”
Camille rubs some beans into her engorged unmentionable, and continues:
“I love how the Nigella In Beans Erotic Nights© range of wimmin’s lingerie makes me feel, which is vaguely up for it if there’s nothing specific I want to watch on the television. And my husband’s happy too, now that I’ve let him get his hands on my dabblers after refusing to let him go anywhere near them when I accused all members of his gender of being rapists in 1977. Indeed, the first time he undid the lids on the topless bean bra thing you see me wearing, his what-have-you went off and covered my six year old grandchild in mannage. We forgot she was in the room.”
The new range of Nigella In Beans Erotic Nights© lingerie is available from http://www.eroticnightswithsomebeans.com (link broken). Purchasers should be advised that this underwear is extremely toxic and may, in extreme cases, lead to lethal levels of death in the wearer. No refunds. All underwear 100% imported Bulgarian polyester, made in Indonesia by children.